Posted in Beauty, Blogging

How to Fix Curly Hair – Beauty Series

What would I know? I’m not one of those kinds of girls.  Ahem. Not anymore, anyway.

I have always had waves and curls. I fought them for three full decades.

In the awesome eighties, I burned curls on top of my head just so I could tease them and make my hair as big as possible. It never worked well. My hair wanted to curl in other directions and is so thick that when I teased it, it would fall to the side or here…. there… anywhere but the place I wanted it to go, ya know? I used massive amounts of Aqua Net and checked/rechecked throughout the day, adding more hairspray as I thought I needed it.  I hated my hair. I thought I had been like, cursed! Why couldn’t I make it look like Julie’s? She had totally awesome 80’s hair. In spite of standing beside her and trying to do what she did and use her hairspray (the same spray as mine, but it seemed it must be magical), my hair would not cooperate.

I bleached it. Dyed it. Bleached it. Dyed it. Cut it. Bleached it… and you get the picture. It hated me.

Over the last few years I have discovered that I hate spending time on my hair! I don’t want to spend an hour in front of the mirror, especially when I never come out satisfied with how I look.

The more I worked at fighting what I thought of as flaws, the more dissatisfied I was with my looks. But it wasn’t just my looks. It was my own perception of my SELF. I never thought I was good enough. I believed I needed to fix it. The more I tried to fix it, the worse it became. Why? Because I had convinced myself that nothing I did was going to fix the flaws.

You have probably guessed I have misled you with the title. This isn’t really about my hair. It is about my inability to change my unacceptable self.

I’ve learned that is impossible. It is the wrong challenge. So what is the right challenge?

Hair Then and Hair Now
There is nothing wrong with the hair I have.   Copyright Karla Whitmore 2016

Learning to accept myself.

I’m in my 40’s, and I am finally on that path.

Next week: What about that droopy eye?




Posted in Blogging, Inspiration, spirituality

Honesty Feeds the Soul

hundred dollar bill
 It has been brought to my attention that this post is not completely honest. What about the white lies? The lie that you feel great, or even fine when you are anything BUT okay? What about the lies we tell when we lie to ourselves? All of these are valid questions and I confess that I lie more often than I stated in this post. So, I am going to take care of the issue and republish with a much more honest approach. The spirit of the post remains the same. I do believe that honesty feeds the soul. It is just one of many ways to feed the soul, but it does, just the same. Look for changes to my post in the next week or so and if you have any suggestions, feel free to contact me! I welcome the input.
This morning, I read an older post from Anglo Lad and it inspired me to relate my own point of view on the virtue of honesty.
I enjoyed the entire post, but my favorite part is the story about the Rickshaw driver. My guess is that he came from little, and unlike some who learn to cheat and steal to “make” it, he empathized and put himself in the place of the passenger.
Years ago, I worked as a cashier at a convenience store/gas station  in Flagstaff, Arizona. One day, a customer came in to pay for his $10.00 in gasoline. He immediately turned and walked out of the store. I had started to get his change out of the register, so I hurriedly finished and ran after him.
“Sir! Sir! You forgot your change, sir!”
He turned around, looking confused.
“I gave you a ten dollar bill!”
“No, sir, you didn’t. You gave a hundred dollar bill. You have ninety coming back!”
He went around and around with the argument until he finally accepted it.
When I went back inside, my co-worker was aghast.
“You could have just agreed with him and kept the money.”
I answered, “Yes, I  could have done that. Then I would have felt guilty every time I thought about it.”
“Why would you feel guilty? It would be his fault!”
“No more than it would be my own if I had done the same thing.”
“But you wouldn’t have a hundred dollar bill to spend in the first place, Karla.”
I was happier with myself than I would have been if I had pocketed the extra money.
To me, honesty is honesty. No matter what the situation happens to be. Not that this does not mean one should not choose to keep one’s mouth shut at appropriate times…
I grew up with a hard-working mother and a father who lived on a small veteran’s pension. They struggled to shelter, feed, and clothe us.
Yet honesty was ingrained in me. Oh, not that I have never been dishonest. but every time I lied to someone it  almost always ended in a confession, simply because I was miserable until I made it right. I say “almost”, because there a couple of instances in which I was less than honest and all opportunity to make up for it was lost.
Those instances still bother me.
Just imagine how I would have felt if I had taken that customer’s money.
I guess my point is that being honest is not entirely selfless.
When we choose virtue over vice, we feed our souls. When we go the other way, we lose a piece of it.
Well, that is how it is for me.
How do you feel about it? Comment below! Answer honestly ;-).